May 16, 2010: Two Branson Shows

I planned to just stay two nights in Branson and get home by Thursday. As Sunday would be my last evening there, I would see an afternoon and evening show, then one on Monday morning. Then I would head north. My plan for Monday was to go to West Branch, Iowa, to see the birthplace and museum for Herbert Hoover, the 31st President. This would be a lengthy drive of almost eight hours.

I started out on Sunday with Mass. The church was packed. Evidently it must be a Midwest thing to do to celebrate the Ascension during the regular Sunday Mass instead of a special Thursday Mass. Just as they planned to celebrate the Ascension on Sunday in Wichita, they did the same in Branson, Missouri. The priest was visiting from Kansas City (about four or five hours away) and came to speak about the Redemptorists' magazine.

After Mass, I planned to get my tickets for the afternoon and evening shows. I could get them at the door, or at the hotel where I was staying. But, neither option would give a discount. Throughout Branson, there are "welcome centers" where you can buy discounted tickets for shows. Some will really save money; others will just eliminate the sales tax. Even Walmart in Branson sells discounted tickets.

I stopped at a welcome center which promised discounts. The clerk said he is not the one who regularly does tickets. He tried to do the tickets for the afternoon show I wanted, but ultimately ended up wasting a lot of time. When he called the theater (they have to call the theater to find out seating availability), he was informed that his office no longer had a contract with the theater. So, he ultimately sent me on my way without a ticket.

I needed lunch so I went to the Branson Mall which included a Walmart with a Subway. The mall had a kiosk where you could allegedly get 70% off tickets, but there was nobody at the booth. Walmart itself had discount tickets, but I was told to come back later when the ticket staff were present. By that time, I risked being late for the show. So, I ultimately went back to my hotel and paid full price for the tickets. Next time, if I can better predict what I'm going to do, I'll pay for them online and print them out (of course in this trip I did not have the ability to print anything).

There aren't a lot of Sunday shows, but I was here and wanted to take advantage of the time. I settled for a show by Moe Bandy, which included comedy and country music. This is a professional country singer from previous decades who now spends much of his time in Branson. I had never heard of him before. The show was okay, but definitely not as good as the Baldknobbers from the night before. There was a sidekick named "Harley Worthit" who dressed up like an old man. He would periodically come out on the stage dressed up in ridiculous costumes (at one point wearing a Walmart bag over his shirt), talking about how weird other people are. Someone asked where he got his clothes and he indicated that he goes to the landfill early in the mornings. At the end of the show it was revealed that the actor was at most in his forties. It's amazing what a hat and certain clothes will do to make someone look older.

I was tired of Subway, so I ate at Fuddruckers, which is a chain restaurant (we may have one on Wolf Road). It's between fast food and a real restaurant. But it has a nice presentation and the food is delicious. They have a huge array of items you can add to burgers including salsa, chopped onions, lettuce, tomatoes, and a few other things. The fries are much better than standard fast food type fries. It was good for a change of pace. I didn't have the time to sit around for a longer full service restaurant.

Later in the evening I saw Clay Cooper and the Country Express. This was a bit of country music plus a number of other songs from previous decades. He began the show by indicating that he had to announce the 84th birthday of one of the audience members. He asked the person what he used to do, and the "old man" said he used to be a professional dancer. The drummer suggested he come up on stage to demonstrate. As he came up, it was obvious that his face was made up with rubber masks to look "old." He had a cane and hobbled a bit but then he suddenly was able to jump and do all kinds of stunts, finally tossing his cane away. At the end of his act he suddenly started hobbling again and "fell." Then he jumped up and ran backstage.

At another point, an audience member's cell phone rang. Clay Cooper asked if he could take the call. He pretended to be the person's assistant. Then he revealed that the audience member's cow was loose. He asked the person on the phone to see if he could get him back into the pasture. This whole thing was probably arranged too.

Clay Cooper's six year old son was one of the performers on stage. His son would dress up as Elvis, and even a young Michael Jackson with a huge afro wig. During the act, the afro fell off and he hastily tried to get it back on right. At one point there was presidential jeopardy featuring Abraham Lincoln, Bush 43, and Obama. Ultimately, the show was nice but I still liked the Baldknobbers better.